Self portraits are something I have an ongoing love/hate relationship with. I’m inexplicably drawn to them as a form of creative expression and yet they play so strongly on my insecurities and self confidence.
This time last year I began the process of creating one of the most personal bodies of work I have to date – a series of self portraits exploring the invisible illness. I opened my soul for everyone to see. I love the images I created, but since then have been almost entirely unable to take self portraits.
I’ve tried of course, on a few occasions. I’ve a collection of shots that will probably never see daylight. Inevitably, each time, one or more of the following things happens:
- I compare the image to the previous body of work I did and it feels too similar, like I’m unable to move on and create something new
- I compare the image to the previous body of work I did and it feels too different, like it’s not honest to who I am
- I’m defeated by a lack of self confidence – who am I to think that people want to see images of me?
- I fall victim to an ongoing battle with body confidence and impossible beauty standards
All of these have the same result – I run away scared, file the images away and decide self portraiture is not for me. I go back to shooting images that are safe and comfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I love the ability to capture the beauty in everyday moments but I have more to say than that genre alone allows for.
In an attempt to break this ongoing cycle, I’ve made another list – one to counter all the points above that trip me up.
- Create honestly and from the heart. If you do this it doesn’t matter whether the image looks like predefined idea of what your style should be, it is your style because it comes from you.
- Create for you – it’s great if others get something out of it but it’s not a reason for doing it and it shouldn’t make a difference. You don’t need validation from anyone else on a form of self expression.
- Other people are not looking at or critiquing your image as long or as hard as you are.
- Beating yourself up over how you look doesn’t help anyone. It’s not the point or the reason you take self portraits.
- Taking creative self portraits does not automatically make you vain or egotistical. There is a vast difference between a quick selfie and a considered self portrait.
- Be quirky, whimsical, fun and adventurous – art does not always need to be deep and serious to be justified
- Be creative and enjoy the process, it’s not the end of the world if a photo doesn’t work
- Sometimes you will hate everything you create. It won’t last forever. Don’t give in.
What are your thoughts on self portraiture as an artistic medium? Have you tried it or would you like to? Do any of the above things hold you back? I’d love to chat to others about this – leave me a comment below or look for this post on my Instagram feed.