You are pulling out the thorns, my love. Some of them are very deeply buried. Some of them are very sharp. Some have more than one barb. Some have spread from where they started and tangled together and you will have to unravel them first. Some will hurt more coming out than they did going in. Some you may not even have realised were there.
You may be met with resistance. Some of these thorns have been put there by other people who would prefer them to stay in. Some were put there by people who didn’t mean to hurt you but didn’t know better. Some people like your thorns because they have them too and seeing yours makes them feel less alone. Some of the resistance will come from within, because even though the thorns are painful, that pain is familiar and can be hard to let go of.
And once the thorns come out, you need to tend to the wounds left behind so they can heal too.
This process of healing may take some time, sometimes longer than you think you can bear. But in the end, you will look back and you may find that you are grateful for the thorns because you would not be the person you are now without them.
Art and suffering have long gone hand in hand. As creatives, we draw on our individual experiences and feelings and express these through our work. Of course, these experiences are not limited to painful or difficult situations, despite the stereotype of the tortured artist, but it’s evident that suffering can be a deep pool of inspiration to draw from.
It makes sense, when you think about it. In times of joy, happiness or even contentment, we live more in the present, experiencing and enjoying the moment. In times of pain or suffering, we often enter a period of analysis – it hurts and we want to understand why, what caused it and how it can be resolved. In suffering we tend to turn inwards, drawing deeper into ourselves and feeling more intensely.
In these moments, art can help us make sense of the suffering we are going through. We can take our experiences and transmute them into another form. In this process, we find a way to move through our thoughts and emotions, learning to honour them instead of pushing them down or trying to escape them. Art allows us to find or create beauty from our pain, offering a path towards healing.
Healing can be a long process. It’s very rarely linear and it requires us to change, to uncover deep and buried things, to acknowledge things we would prefer to ignore. The passage at the start of this post about removing thorns comes from a free writing practice that has been part of my own healing path, a path that I am still very much on. And for a long time, I resisted the idea of creating from my pain. Drawing from suffering as a source of inspiration felt like feeding the negative parts of myself that I was trying to move away from. In a world that seemed so dark and full of terrible things, I wanted art to be an escape, a way to find the small pieces of beauty that were harder and harder to see.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with this approach, but as with all things there is a balance between the shadow and the light. Some of the greatest beauty is found in dark places, in coming through the storm and finding something new on the other side.
It is in our darkest moments that we are at our most vulnerable and our most self-aware. These are both essential traits to embrace for creatives because they lead to honest expression, allowing us to feel our way, instead of thinking it. Creating from this place can be difficult, because it feels raw and open, it feels like holding the most sensitive parts of ourselves up for the world to see. But it is through this honesty that we create connection, that we speak a truth that is recognised by others. Every person has their own unique trauma, but suffering itself is universal. The art of others can put a voice to our emotions or help us feel less alone. It can provide a sense of understanding or consolation or release, all of which are important parts of working through difficult times. You may never know the impact your work has had on another person.
That said, there is great value in creating art just for yourself, as part of your own healing journey. Having a safe place to express yourself can help you work through things that you would otherwise not feel comfortable sharing and that in itself is a reason to do it. There are many images and pieces of writing from the last year that I am not sure I will ever share but the process of making them was a necessary step in understanding my own situation, and allowing myself to feel fully without holding back from fear of how others may respond or react.
Ultimately, art and healing are both processes – neither is fixed or finite. Some days will feel like you’ve made great strides, and others might feel like you’re right back where you started. Whether you create from joy, pain, or somewhere in between, the act of creation can form an essential part of growth. In allowing yourself to explore, to feel, and to express through your art, you are giving voice to the parts of you that need to be heard, seen, and understood.
